The bowling lanes at Kings in Back Bay Boston, near Copley, are terrific, as long as you don't intend to use them for, you know, bowling. That's not what they're designed for, after all. They're designed to facilitate the sale of over-priced drinks, and in that, at least, I wish them continued success. They have nice tables and chairs, so there's that, and good music, and glowing pins and gutters in the darkness. But I could have done without the large screens overhead on which a gang of putative grown men argued about the merits of athletes about of third of their ages. At least the sound was off, on those guys.
That still left the problem of the lanes themselves, and, believe me, they could not have been worse. I didn't know bowling ever got this bad. The sensors often didn't even score the right number of pins, and, really, after that, does anything else even matter? But there was more. There was the bowler's surface, which allowed for no slide whatsoever, and sent a bowler tripping forward even after he knew what to expect. There was also the ball-return rack, too close by at least half to the lanes it bisected, and too far up near the lanes themselves. God forbid someone wants to do something crazy, like knock down a 2, 4, or 7 pin, or--who knows?--maybe even all three at once. In attempting to do so, I actually banged the bony part of my heel, hard, on the steel rack when I kicked up upon delivery. How is that even possible? I didn't do it again, but that's only because I made the necessary adjustments. My score suffered, of course, but at least I didn't sacrifice my feet.
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